Christmas: the new Labor Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, and Thanksgiving

Raise your hand if you love Christmas. Now, put it down because chances are you're alone and no one else can see you anyway.

Both from a Christian and a secular sense, I agree that Christmas is fantastic. It's the birth of Jesus, it's a time of family and togetherness, it brings out the pure joy in children, and let's be honest, it's magical.

All that aside, I think that just like Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 states, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven ..." Applying this to Christmas, there is a time to celebrate it and a time to just be patient.

I was driving down Gateway Drive in about October and passed one of the highlights of GF, Ideal Inn. What made me do a double take was the significant inflatable Christmas scene erected in the parking lot. A couple things about that made me pause ... 1) I didn't realize people at the Ideal Inn were thinking about the birth of Jesus, but 2) it was OCTOBER.

I know the retail shops have all started putting out the garland and red ornaments as soon as the kiddos go back to school. Even though I don't like it, I can justify it because they need to turn profits.

Where I've recently been disappointed by an exceedingly early expression of Christmas cheer:
- The all-Christmas all-the-time music began on the radio right after Halloween
- The town Christmas decorations are already up and it's not Thanksgiving yet - I understand putting them up while it's still nice out, but it's not necessary to turn them on.
- I read on Facebook that some people have already had their trees up for about a week ... I hope they're not real firs.
- Boy Scouts are already selling wreaths ... won't they die before Dec 25?
- Commercials featuring Santa are on TV (but this is ok bc I love those, especially the Coke ones ..."Did ya see it?" ... "Uh huh.")

Like I said, Christmas is magical. But, doesn't it not only take away from the magic of Christmas as well as the focus on thankfulness during Thanksgiving, and the fun and fright of Halloween by starting the party a little too early? It's like if you live at the lake or by the mountains, you don't see them every day with the same awe and wonder that you do when you visit those spots on vacation.

I think too much of any good thing ruins it a little bit. So, here's to Halloween, here's to Thanksgiving, here's to the celebrations of Labor Day and Veteran's Day, and most of all, here's to Christmas and celebrating it for the magic that it is ... but not overdosing on it.

Got Grunt?

One thing I absolutley love about watching is sports is the grunters. I'm not talking about the fans, I'm talking about the athletes. You know what I mean. Those people who, with every forceful step, swing, jump, lunge, or throw let out an animalistic yelp from deep within.

Just the thought of it reminds me of greats like Venus Williams, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Maria Sharapova ... wait a minute. These are all tennis players.

Realizing this, I Googled to see which other athletes grunt, assuming I'd find a humor-filled link or two across the gamut of sports.

But, Apparently tennis is where the grunting is at! Here is a quick list of sites dedicated not just to grunting but grunting in tennis:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105850688

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/06/21/wha_unhhh_a_defense_of_the_tennis_grunt/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunting_(tennis) (why wouldn't there be a Wikipedia site for this?)

http://deadspin.com/110521/the-primal-grunts-of-maria-sharapova-and-her-fans

http://www.arrod.co.uk/archive/blog_20030630_GruntingInTennis.php

http://gotgrunt.com/GotGrunt/Welcome.html

The ultimate site, though, discusses how the sport of tennis may BAN grunting. What?? http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/postedsports/archive/2009/06/15/itf-to-crack-down-on-gruting.aspx

http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/messages/chrono/15594434

Even though some resources site that grunting does not add force to an action, I think these tennis players are onto something. I think that I will add grunting to my day. Not while I'm working out or cleaning or doing home improvements. More like when I hit "send" on an email, or answer the phone, or select the paper tray on the copy machine, staple things, or use the water cooler.

I would be so cool.

We're going to miss you

I'll start out by saying that I'm not much for pats on the back. That said, very rarely being validated for a job well done, or appreciated for going above and beyond can change how one thinks about praise. Some people might react to it by demanding praise and feeling bitter. Others (read: me) convince themselves they never needed it anyway so it doesn't matter that they don't get it, ie. defense mechanism.

Regardless of reaction, lack of feedback, except the negative variety, can make a person question if they're on the right track, adding value where they work/volunteer, and refining themselves into an expert. Exasperated, confused and generally worn out, one decides to move on.

Irony of ironies, this is when the people who had nothing good to say to you before now gush about how great you are.

There are two ways to look at this:
1. You really do suck and people are just so happy you're going, they are happily, merrily celebrating your exit.
2. People take others for granted. Sort of like how a teenage girl treats her mom. Pick, pick, pick and gripe, gripe, gripe, but when the going gets tough and one loses something really important, people get very emotional about the departure.

I'm choosing to look at some of my recent shifts as examples of #2. I say this, because a) I know I'm good at what I do, and b) I'm presently experiencing the emotional overtures.

They have included: emails of sadness, recommendations, shocked faces, many best wishes, and to top it all off ... tears. No joke.

Don't get me wrong, it's all appreciated and very touching. Most definitely. I've given everything I can to my chosen path, morning, noon and night; I'm more than touched. However, I wonder how many people get off the roller coaster long enough to realize that if they merely didn't take their peers for granted and instead treated them with dignity, perhaps the regretful, mournful loss wouldn't even enter the picture.

So, lessons learned; what am I taking away from this? I'm going to own my life and what makes me tick. I'm going to follow my passion. I'm also not going to give more than what's expected in order to try and gain respect. I will always work hard, I will just be smarter about it. Because, if you give, give, give, instead of becoming relied upon as a credible, trusted professional, you'll just get relied on as a doormat.

I hate the term "look out for No. 1" but ... apparently it's true.

The few, the proud, my favorites

Black
Dresses
Scarves
Silver jewelry
Brown leather boots
Nehru jackets
Bangel bracelets
Ruffles
Solid colors
3" or higher heels
Natural make-up

These are a few of my least favorite things

Leggings as pants

Sweatpants with elastic at the ankles

UGG boots

Sweatpants with UGG boots

Belly shirts

Low rise pants

Purses that can double as luggage

Thick eye liner

Platform shoes

Sequined & lace cotton tank tops

Striped hair

Ed Hardy t-shirts

Hockey jerseys as dresses

Everything boasting fringe

Pleats

Chunky-heeled shoes

Really tan skin

Bump-its

Jeans without back pockets

Neon

Crocs

Denim button ups

Shirts sporting horses, deer, ducks, kittens, or dogs

Skorts

Green eye shadow

Shirts with key holes at the chest

Polyester

Bleached hair

Panty lines

Pleather

Bell sleeves

Flanel shirts

Mall bangs in 2009

John Cusak saved the world

Interesting choice, don't you think?

2012 was the box office favorite this weekend and I was pleasantly surprised I liked it. Action movies are great but I didn't know much about this one (have been living under a rock, i know).

While I believe we counted 7 close-call escapes, all classics involving explosions, toppling buildings, and death-defying avionics from a complete novice, there was really only one part of the whole movie that was completely unbelievable ... aside from the plot line I guess ... and that was when the Russian's trophy girlfriend sneaks on the boat and whistles to her lap dog who is surrounded by thousands of panicking people. The dog, of course, hears her and scampers across the cable wiring between the boat and the dock just in time for both girlfriend and puppy to sneak into a hole in the ship. She, as any pin-up girl turned action hero would, gives her ex-boyfriend standing in the crowd the middle finger.

I won't spoil anything for those who haven't seen it yet, so I will leave you with these parting thoughts. A few of the good guys die and not always in a merciful quick death like crashing in a plane or exploding in a volcano. And one death is even a bit surprising.

All in all though, two thumbs up. It will be a great Sunday afternoon flick for TNT or FX in the future.

What's an antonym for dynamic?

I overheard a conversation last night debating the virtues of Grand Forks and Fargo. The female took the pro GF stance, explaining that Fargo had to pick up the pace in the last 10 years in to keep its business - apparently everyone was heading north en masse to dine at Sander's (keep in mind when she says "everyone," Fargo has about 100,000 people and capacity at Sander's is roughly 75).

Together they named the new and hip restaurants in Fargo like ... Cork & Cleaver and Monty's. No disrespect but neither are new and it's more than a stretch to entertain C&C as hip.

The gentleman chatter noted Fargo's downtown was very dynamic (his word) and Grand Forks had struggled to recover post-Flood.

Then came her banner moment, naming the single characteristic of GF that has elevated it above its southern peer. Was she pinning her debate on REA and men's hockey? Miss Britney live and in concert? The Toasted Frog? Wait for it ...

The Greenway.

A lovely stretch of land along the Red with a bike path and several other outdoor amenities; I, too, love the Greenway. I ran a half-marathon on it this summer. But, the Greenway is the pinnacle of success for our city? It's the singular asset that lifts it above Fargo?

Please. Expand your horizons beyond Wahpeton and reconsider that statement.

So here's an alternative. Instead of trying to compete against Fargo, why not invest in just being better? Period. Comparing the two cities is pointless and frankly, ND doesn't need two Fargos or two Grand Forks's. Having two very different and unique cities would serve us much better. Think of our neighbor to the east. In MN, Duluth, Minneapolis and Rochester all serve their own purposes, eliminating any need to compete with the other and offering Minnesota more variety.

But, back to my conversationalists. The bone I had to pick with it all had less to do with the topic and more with the viewpoint from which it was approached. It was limited. Limited in every sense of the word. Neither city, nor the state, has much chance at diversifying and expanding until the scales fall from the eyes of many who live in it.

Wrestlemania XXIV

Are you ready to rumble?

Fact: do not to have one of the biggest, most emotionally draining weeks of your life at the same time as the person you are dating. Not only do you feel like you've been punched in the face by your own situation, you get kicked in the teeth by your partner and to top it off, you realize that you have in fact kicked the person you love in the teeth just as hard. It's brilliant.

Invalidation is a bag of depression, both when you feel it and when you know you've passed it on to someone else.

But, as the great Bell X1 once sang:
I've been walking you
into those lamposts again
But I'd rather do that
than let go of your hand

So let the bell ding and jump in. But try to remember that your certain someone is meant to be your tag team partner, not your opponent.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

See it.

Ripping the adhesive bandage

I don't mean to sound like a John Cusak movie, but how do you know when to completely let go, look an uncertain situation in the eye that will have a significant and long-lasting impact on your life, and just jump?


Sometimes it's as easy as not thinking too hard and choosing your dreams over your realities. Sometimes your gut tells you, overwhelmingly, to turn left or to turn right.

But what about those other times??

When your gut pushes you one way, only to throw you the opposite, and when your emotions are as clear as pulpy orange juice, that's when the real fear sets in. It's not a fear of jumping or a fear of not jumping; it's a fear of not trusting yourself that freezes you, mid-air, in between the having your feet on the ground and soaring full force toward your landing. Waiting to thaw out and at least plop yourself to one side of the other.

And if you're like me, making decisions on a certain level is cake. The writing is on the wall, you hold fast and firm and you're done. Cool and calm. To the point where people who panic or hesitate are terribly annoying. So to be the exceptionally confident person on the one end and then be the antithesis of that on the other ... let's be honest, it's schizophrenic.

You begin to wish some force bigger than yourself would come along and either weigh you down back to the ground, or pitch you over the edge of the cliff without a parachute. Either way, the decision is done, over, and now it's about dealing with what that means, rather than continuing to stare at either option.

This is me, wishing.

No one throws up from being scared

I'm definitely in the minority at this time of year. My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the little kiddos in their pumpkin, dinosaur, Superman, or bunny rabbit costumes, and giving them candy. My favorite part about Halloween in no way involves the following:

1. Turning any costume idea (BLANK) you can think of into a "Sexy BLANK". My date was dressed as the Swine Flu (?) and I was a gypsy. When he asked me why I wasn't a sexy gypsy, I said I would but only if he went as the sexy Swine Flu.

2. Getting supremely drunk. I don't think there's any explanation needed here. But, when a person does want to do either 1. or 2. ... why post it on Facebook? Is it really necessary to broadcast on the internet how desperate you are?

3. Watch a scary movie. This pretty much goes for any time of year. However, Halloween takes it no a new level. Here's a good example: Paranormal Activity. What in the mother love is that? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do we need that in our lives? I seriously can't even watch the commercials for these films let alone the trailers, let alone the movie. In Fear, I spent the last 15 minutes of the movie with my head in my knees. In From Dusk Till Dawn ... I got up and left the theater.

Who in the rock comes up with this stuff? While I HATE being scared, if people like it, people like it. But whose bass-akwards mind creates these films and then has the stomach to film them? Not it.

Who sits around and thinks, oh I'll make a movie about a girl who decides to eat her best friend (Jennifer's Body)? I have a lot of female friends - some close, some not. Never ever have I thought eating their flesh was an effective relationship management tool. Or, how about we put some kids in a youth hostel and gruesomely torcher them to the point where no one will ever want to even travel again - ever - let alone stay in an economical boarding house (Hostel)? Perhaps this movie is what tanked the travel industry and not the poorly run airlines / bad economy. Anyone ever consider that?

The twisted mind it must take to create those movies is something I can't comprehend. I do not have those thoughts. Normal, healthy people do not have those thoughts. Well-adjusted people come up with movies like The Bourne Trilogy, Juno, 500 Days of Summer.

I'll be staying on that side of the line.

Happy November 1.

Tight Rollin in the USA

I don't have as much time or resources to shop as I'd like to these days ... and there's really no point anyway since the best stores I can shop here are TJ and Target. So I really look forward to getting all those free brand catalogues in the mail: J.Crew, Martin & Osa, Express. I know we're not talking Dolce & Gabbana, but it satisfies my fashion itch for now.

Fashion is cyclical. I know this. We've seen 50s and 60s dresses come back into style, bell-bottom pants, espadrilles, wide belts, skinny belts, polka dots, and more. But it's also innovative - hopefully recycling elements of trends that once were into something better.

To my shock and nauseated horror, when I opened my most recent brand catalogue I found the faux pas of faux pas. Tight rolled pants with short socks and heels.

Excuse me?

Now, I've watched every episode of Sex in the City seeing Sarah Jessica Parker's character try to pull off everything from a fanny pack to a backless dress with a bra. I've also lived on a college campus for the past 11 years and seen a number outside-the-box outfits walk past my office window. I'm open to all of that. I've tried some of it myself (not the fanny pack). I've tried the boots over jeans look, I bowed to the peer pressure of capri pants, I've worn a print t-shirt with a suit. I get it. But tight rolls, socks and heels?

The only time that should ever be worn is if you get out a DeLorian in 1985.

Clothing is utilitarian, but fashion is art. What statement, exactly, is one trying to make by scrunching one's pants into hard lumpy rolls above the ankle? Are you a beach comber? Are you on your way to Maine? Add short, hot pink socks with your favorite pair of pumps and you've just hemorrhaged my eyes. I don't appreciate it.

I'd sooner campaign across the world advocating skinny jeans and wearing a headband across one's forehead (Note: to everyone on The City - stop it. You are not Wonder Woman).

This is not art, this is not utilitarian, this is just ugly and embarassing. The only thing that should be resurrected from the 80s is the music. Leave the rest of it alone and let's fondly remember it for what it was. Past tense.

Swinging the Pendulum

I've been thinking a lot about personalities. My massage therapist once said something interesting about her own mother, which was that for most of her life, she was incredibly giving and selfless to a fault. She always worried about what everyone else needed and did her best to fulfill that.

In the end though, as she grew old, she became one of the most self-centered, bitter and inward people one could imagine.

Maybe this could get chalked up to aging - ailments, adjusting, etc. But I wonder more if it wasn't the pendulum of her personality swinging the other way as a result of spending so much time way to the left of center.

If a person is out of balance, absorbing themselves in anything that doesn't allow for well-roundedness - work, helping people, a marriage, children, working out, etc. - will they eventually reach a breaking point? Will they hit the wall on one side and careen straight into the polar opposite?

The Nothing Box

While eating oatmeal at a truck stop I was enlightened as to the difference between men and women. I was introduced to the Nothing Box.

Apparently, as it was explained to me, women's brains are constructed like a ball of twine - everything overlaps and interweaves. For example, a mother may wake up in the morning, get her three boys fed and ready for school, do a load of laundry, plan dinner, and head out the door to her own full time job. When a woman hears shes getting company, she plans to change the sheets, stock the fridge, straighten the house, and find a few local activities her guests may enjoy. Everything interconnects, overlaps, etc.

A man's brain, on the other hand, is constructed like boxes. There's a work box, a family box, and there's probably a golf box. A man can only be in one box at a time, singularly focusing on one issue. The man who has company enjoys his company. He's not in the kitchen prepping hors d'oeuvres, wipping dessert plates, and refilling the ice trays - he wasn't in that box.

The most favored box a man has is the Nothing Box. Jumping in his Nothing Box, the man can shut off anything and everything, clearing his head and recharging. Ahhhhh, the nothing box.

Unfortunately while the nothing box is heaven for the man, it's the box women hate the most.

The man who explained this to me believes in the Nothing Box theory. He said it's glorious. (I really think he used the word glorious) And I - after knowing my brother for all 29.9 years of my life - definitely believe it's true.

So why would the woman hate (loathe?) something that is so central to a man's being? Is it because women are jealous they don't have an invite to the box? That was the wisdom of the Nothing Box dweller in my life.

My view, however, is there is a much simpler, easier-to-buy reason. I submit that women are annoyed by the fact that, after putting up with a man who can only handle one-track-thought all day long, that man gets to jump in his Nothing Box to recharge; thus leaving the woman to handle: everything.

Tricky little buggers.

All is not lost though. Not to be outdone, I also believe that women are learning to find their own Nothing Boxes. With the ever-increasing delay in marriages and reproduction, women are able and willing to cuddle up in newly discovered nothingness. I'm not sure which came first, finding Nothing or staying single longer, but the relationship is surely strong.

I know I possess the ball of twine upstairs. But I also know I'm getting more comforable with my very own Nothing Box. I like it in there - it usually involves a good book or a chick flick. At least until the commercial break brings me back to earth, what's not to love?

....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM&feature=related

The Bounce Bandwagon

I read a book called "Bounce" ... it could have been titled "Who Moved My Cheese" or "Good to Great" or ... you get the picture. Its premise was that companies will inevitably experience disintegration on some level or another. Truth. The key is how reintegration is handled on the back end. The author asks if a company will be like a Christmas ornament, and when it falls from its peek it will shatter into thousands of pieces. Will it be like an orange and stay together on the outside, but be pretty damaged on the inside? Or, will it be like a hard rubber ball, hitting the ground and bouncing back even higher?

Good concept?

Absolutely.

Ah, but here's the devil in the details, the point no one wants to admit: Company cultures don't shift or improve because someone (or a management team in this case) read a 150pg book. Company cultures are built and sustained because of who people ARE. I think it's realistic to assume that if a class of undergrads read Bounce or any of its peers, some good could come away from it. Perhaps as they would each consider how they will manage, how they will interact with co-workers, what approach they will take to their professions; a book like that could shift a forthcoming workforce dynamic. However, I'm hard pressed to see that someone in their 40s, or someone a few years from retirement, will adjust ingrained behaviors and attitudes because of something they once read on an airplane. Makes me think of Jerry McGuire's memo.

To be certain, I'm not a pessimist. I am, however, a realist. And in realistic terms, all the niceties and momentarily inspiring text in the world won't effect change in a permanent sense.

After all ... Look at the "Purpose Driven Life" movement. I think people on that bandwagon found spirituality for about 20 minutes.

Liberal Radio ... why?

This morning on CNN there was discussion whether or not more liberal talk radio should be created to balance the conservative talk radio. I think that liberal talk radio has been attempted (Ed Schultz, et al) and it doesn't have the following convservative talk radio does. Why does there need to be a mandate for something like this? Why should time and money be spent on producing content no one wants to digest in that format? That's pretty anti-capitalist, and somewhat undemocratic if you think about it. People vote with their time in terms of Nielsen ratings and if no one is voting for it, why would it be produced anyway?

The first rule of public relations is know your audience. Know what conversation(s) they are having and how you can enter that conversation in a way that will move and compel them. Without knowing that, you'll never be able to get your point across. Without knowing how to enter the conversation meaningfully, it's like you're walking into a cocktail party and shouting at the top of your lungs instead of just going up to someone and visiting. And that's just weird.

Doesn't sound like anyone who is pushing for liberal talk radio knows their audience very well. Shouters.

(not that I like conservative radio. the hosts come across like religious fundamentalists. and that's weird too.)

Morning Reading

Do you ever miss The Way I See It on the back of Starbuck's cups? A little slice of insight from some regular (and some not-so-regular) Joes, who had enough time to not only think that somewhat provacative thought, but to also log on to starbucks.com and navigate to where one would submit such a comment. I'm a bit tired just considering it. Nonetheless I miss those simple wisdoms. Now the cups just tell me how I'm so fabulous for buying fair trade beans ergo saving the world ... But, since I throw the cup away rather than recycling it (are those things even recyclable? I have no idea), aren't I somehow back to par?

The Way I See It #76 - The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. - Anne Morriss.

Thank you Anne.