Tight Rollin in the USA

I don't have as much time or resources to shop as I'd like to these days ... and there's really no point anyway since the best stores I can shop here are TJ and Target. So I really look forward to getting all those free brand catalogues in the mail: J.Crew, Martin & Osa, Express. I know we're not talking Dolce & Gabbana, but it satisfies my fashion itch for now.

Fashion is cyclical. I know this. We've seen 50s and 60s dresses come back into style, bell-bottom pants, espadrilles, wide belts, skinny belts, polka dots, and more. But it's also innovative - hopefully recycling elements of trends that once were into something better.

To my shock and nauseated horror, when I opened my most recent brand catalogue I found the faux pas of faux pas. Tight rolled pants with short socks and heels.

Excuse me?

Now, I've watched every episode of Sex in the City seeing Sarah Jessica Parker's character try to pull off everything from a fanny pack to a backless dress with a bra. I've also lived on a college campus for the past 11 years and seen a number outside-the-box outfits walk past my office window. I'm open to all of that. I've tried some of it myself (not the fanny pack). I've tried the boots over jeans look, I bowed to the peer pressure of capri pants, I've worn a print t-shirt with a suit. I get it. But tight rolls, socks and heels?

The only time that should ever be worn is if you get out a DeLorian in 1985.

Clothing is utilitarian, but fashion is art. What statement, exactly, is one trying to make by scrunching one's pants into hard lumpy rolls above the ankle? Are you a beach comber? Are you on your way to Maine? Add short, hot pink socks with your favorite pair of pumps and you've just hemorrhaged my eyes. I don't appreciate it.

I'd sooner campaign across the world advocating skinny jeans and wearing a headband across one's forehead (Note: to everyone on The City - stop it. You are not Wonder Woman).

This is not art, this is not utilitarian, this is just ugly and embarassing. The only thing that should be resurrected from the 80s is the music. Leave the rest of it alone and let's fondly remember it for what it was. Past tense.