Caution: No One Owes You Anything

A lot of times when reading news articles, overhearing conversations or seeing things on television, I notice there is a campaign going on against personal responsibility. To me, personal responsibility is the notion that you make it or break it on your own. Your actions, your thoughts, your achievements and your failures belong to you. No one else. Obviously other people and other circumstances affect you, but your reaction to those things is entirely within your control. Therefore, others are most likely not at all responsible for your situation in life. Not whatsoever.

But like I said, there seems to be a revolt against this idea. Some examples include the following:
McDonald’s freak out

I can see how it can be “easier” to blame someone else for what’s wrong in your life or for why something happened/didn’t happen. But if you blame someone else and forget the next step of “what could be done to make this better” or “how can I prevent this from happening again” or “is this really that big of a deal that I need to get upset” then you give all the power and control in your life to others.

And, you become just some random pinball bouncing around at others’ whims.

You allow yourself to have no say in whether or not you have a good day, whether or not you reach a goal, whether or not parts of your life come together as you wish. Why would you constantly put the ball in someone else’s court?

Not to advocate control freaks, but on a limited scale, they have something going for them. They have personal responsibility. If they want something, they make it happen by hook or by crook.

But if over-exercised, control freaks can end up in the same boat as those with no personal responsibility in two ways:
1. If something doesn’t go according to plan, then a consummate control freak may believe that it must not have been their fault. Everything they control goes perfectly, so if something is bad then someone else must be at the root of that problem.

2. By extending their controlling nature onto others, they create those who do not know how to control anything. See: micromanagers in the workplace and helicopter parents (lengthy, but great article: Nation of Wimps)

If there were a guidebook to life, I’m pretty sure there would be a warning printed in red, bold letters on the opening page stating: CAUTION – NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING AND THERE IS NO GUARANTEE YOU WILL YOU WILL FIND PEACE, HAPPINESS, LOVE, MONEY, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU THINK YOU “NEED”. DEAL WITH IT.

From there, we would read the pages about guarding our hearts, taking risks, avoiding mob-mentality or group-think, giving our minds and bodies something to do each day, and probably something about remembering to stop and smell the roses. (Perhaps this sounds like the Bible to some of you … perhaps not to others.)

I just think that at the end of the day, if we do not take responsibility for our own actions, regardless of the circumstances around us, then why are we each here at all? We aren’t puppets in others peoples’ shows. We are the leading ladies and men of our own lives. We are not the wingmen or the best friends. It takes some gumption but why is that a bad thing?