7:30am on a Monday

Some time in the near future, stop and think about someone you know but don't know all that well. Without reservation, name the type of car you think they drive. Then (without being a creeper) find out the real answer.

I tend to create images of people in my mind when I get to know them, trying to figure out who they are and what they're in to. I don't do it to stereotype anyone, I just think it's an interesting game. You can usually peg the people who drive pickups or SUVs, mini-vans, or hybrids. But, every now and again, someone will shock you.

So there I am, getting a cup of coffee just as I do every morning. On this particular day, the gentleman ahead of me happened to be a relatively famous (for ND) artist. Since no one reading this was there with me and since I will not name his name, I will let you know that he's the real deal when it comes to artists. It's what he does for a living and he's very "artisty" ... if that draws a picture in your mind. Eccentric, a little grungy, wears decorative scarves but not in a feminine way, more in a don't-want-to-get-paint-or-turpentine-down-my-shirt way. Very cool. You look at the guy and you literally think: Artist. He owns it. (In fact, he has an accent. An accent! And, I don't mean a Canadian one. To boot, I'm not sure it's even real! Yet he's cool enough to pull that off! But I digress.)

Here, then, was odd realization #1. He was at Starbucks. The stereotypes about drinking Starbucks are well known far and wide. Obviously I have no problem with them since I'm there every single day (They gave me a Christmas present one time. Shameful.). But it seemed really strange that this artist who definitely operates in a I'm-not-living-my-life-according-to-the-man way was there too.

Now that this story has gotten far too lengthy, here is odd realization #2: As I walked to my car (2-door Honda Civic) I saw him driving out of the lot. I now ask you, what is your guess for this uber cool artist person? Mine would have been an old school Toyota, a Datsun pickup, or an old Bronco - yellow with some rusty spots. Maybe a Woody, even. Kinda funky, cheap, utilitarian.

Nope. A Chevy Lumina.

Nothing is wrong with a Chevy Lumina. They are perfectly good cars driven by perfectly good people, but of all the vehicles I would have put him in, that wasn't at the top of my list. In fact, I may have put him in a Audi before a Chevy Lumina.

Blew my mind.

Then again it was 7:30am on a Monday and it wouldn't have taken much.

Let the painting begin

A few posts back I mentioned how I wanted to paint something with actual paint on an actual canvas. Lo and behold, I find myself the proud owner or oil, acrylic and water color paints, and (ta-da) a canvas.

As much as it means to me to have this opportunity, it means more to be given those items by someone who genuinely wants to see me check off some items on my bucket list.

Life's accomplishments are amazing and satisfying in and of themselves. But having a cheerleader and someone with whom to celebrate, win or lose, is so much better.

Dressing. (not the kind you put on salads or eat with turkey)

I looked in the mirror today and thought "Ugh. Gross."

Now, before you roll your eyes and think this will be some diatribe on how I think I'm ugly, hang on. I wasn't upset with my physical appearance at all. I was upset with what I was wearing (and am actually still wearing as I write this). I've always been interested and inspired by fashion, not just by what the designers do artistically but even with how functional clothing can say something about a person.

As I looked in the mirror this morning I'm not sure I liked what this outfit said about me. I know I didn't. It said: bad taste.

Most women, and I think some men, probably take risks every now and again and end up wearing something they later regret. I can accept that that's trying. Where I'm disappointed with myself this time is that my faux-pas came from not trying. It came from enough moments of putting down the really beautiful (probably expensive) item and either relying on the old standby I already had in my closet or worse, purchasing the cheaper, more poorly made version of what I wanted.

You might think here: well, that's just being budget-conscious and non-materialistic.

To that, on the one hand, I say thank you. I do not wish to go broke buying clothing I do not need, and I really don't want to be one of those people who have more clothes than the Gap Outlet. I've nearly prided myself on being minimalistic to some extents.

On the other hand, what that's done is turned me in to someone who looks hastily groomed and like they just don't quuuiiiiiiiiite get it. Gross.

Fashion may not be everything to everyone, but to me, clothes make the (wo)man. Throw some hot shoes in there and, well, sign me up.

Therefore, my pledge to myself is to figure out a way to define my preferred style, weed out the junk that makes me look like I'm still on a college budget, and start incorporating the lovely pieces I actually want to jump into every morning to take on the world.

Volunteer Brigade

Have you ever volunteered for something and then regretted it profusely? Yep. I have.

I think a person volunteers for a project or an organization for a couple reasons. First, there are the touted selfless ones - you are bettering your community, giving to those less fortunate or helping those who have a hard time helping themselves, being a part of something bigger than yourself, learning a sense of team spirit and partnership, stepping outside your own boundaries, doing something just for the satisfaction of a job well done.

However, I think there are some SELFISH reasons we volunteer. And, while I may come across as pessimistic by saying this, I think it is largely true. Here are reasons you may selfishly volunteer - you want to meet people or "network", you want to look good in the eyes of others, you want to pad your resume a bit, you want to break into a different job field, you want to keep your current skills sharp in a certain area.

Overall, I suppose, volunteering for any reason is never a bad thing because some project needs to get accomplished and by volunteering, you help accomplish it. Nonetheless, I think it is the projects for which we selfishly apply ourselves that we easily burn out.

I'm guessing this is what happened to me.

Even though volunteering can be good no matter what, the problem with doing so for selfish reasons is that the altruistic spirit you need isn't there to keep you going through the hours, nights, weekends, etc, of the project. When it's selfish, as the going gets tough, the weak just want to stay home. When you are doing it for your own gain, not for the benefit of the project it's a lot easier to back out once you've gotten what you came for or when you can see you aren't getting the results you wanted. Then, no one wins. You've now irritated yourself with this self-imposed "obligation" (that's a great word in and of itself isn't it?), if you do participate chances are it's done so with guilt not with zeal, and finally, the project is always on the teetering verge of incompletion (or worse yet, failure) because your heart isn't in it.

It'll get you every time. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in this is I fair much better volunteering for things that are short-lived. A one day event, etc. Long-term volunteer situations and I aren't not meant to be together.

Perhaps that means I'm too selfish.

Thanks Ingrid

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match

Cuz I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching; I'll make it better

Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am

--Ingrid Michaelson